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  • Writer's pictureJason Kiesau

Our Needs Paradox

Each of us has needs. When our needs are met we are more comfortable, confident and focused. We are mentally and emotionally freed up to be curious about bigger things.

When our needs are not met, we experience stress and insecurity that demands our attention and distracts us from our meaningful relationships, esteem to achieve and potential. There is real risk in not having the self-awareness and understanding of our needs.

AND... if this isn't hard enough on our own, let's complicate things further by having to deal with other people.

So, people with good intentions are navigating throughout the world, doing their thing, trying to get their needs met and they are creating stress for other people in the process. Without even trying people are rubbing each other the wrong way and pissing each other off.


The real and non dramatic answer that may not fit your narrative is... people don't really understand themselves and they don't understand each other.

The opportunity....

  • Learn more about yourself; the good, bad and ugly (we all have it)

  • Maximize the good... contribute to the world around you

  • If you realize something about yourself that is unproductive, try to change it. If you need help, get help. Ignoring it will likely lead to problems... stress and insecurity

  • Get curious and learn about others, expect people to be different, have empathy and stop taking everything so freaking personally. Most people aren't trying to cause you stress; their actions likely don't align with your needs and they are probably just as ignorant as the rest of us.

Learning more about this will make your life easier, as well as lead to better experiences with others.

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