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  • Writer's pictureJason Kiesau


Yesterday when my son and I went through the questions on Assertiveness he came to the conclusion that he tends to be more Tell Assertive. The second dimension being measured is RESPONSIVENESS, which is the the measurement of how much emotion we show or display. Some people tend to be more controlled with how much emotion they show and others tend to be more emoting.

We talked through the following questions:


- Do you have more inflection in your voice or is it more monotone? (more inflection) - Do you tend to be more Task or People focused? (more people) - Do you tend to stick to the facts or do you share opinions and stories? (opinions and stories)


- Do you tend to talk with your hands or are they still? (talks with hands) - Is your body posture more rigid / formal or playful and casual? (playful and casual) - Are your facial expressions more animated or controlled? (more animated)

Again, a very small sampling of questions, but understanding these dynamics about ourselves and others tells a story about strengths and growth opportunities and how to build better relationships with others; less stressful relationships.

People who are more Controlled tend to be task first, people second. Their needs are met through tasks and their tension is caused by tasks not being focused on and completed. Because their needs aren't met through people, they haven't been focused to develop strong relational tactics like compassion and empathy. Because they are less relational focused, they may struggle with people who are More Emoting as they may perceive too many emotions and people focus distracting from the tasks or results.

People who are more Emoting tend to be people first, task second. They get things done, but their experience will be less stressful if they perceive good relations with the people around them. Because their needs are met through people, from a young age they have figured out compassion and empathy because it helps them meet their need. However, if they are unaware they may overdue the relational stuff and/or have a hard time working with people who tend to be More Controlled and less relational.

Do you tend to be More Controlled or More Emoting?

For more information about the SOCIAL STYLE Model, visit

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