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  • Writer's pictureJason Kiesau


We all judge. I think we can all agree that poor and unfair judgments don't set you or I up for success. It's not good for anyone's quality of life.

It's a survival and protection thing. It's a "some people and things make us feel comfortable and some people and things make us feel uncomfortable" thing. When our needs and expectations are met we feel comfortable. When they aren't, we don't. It's part of the human experience. (I know I sound like a broken record talking about NEEDS, but they are foundation to our being and relationships with others.)

Most of the time we don't even realize we're doing it and this lack of awareness can cause all kinds of challenges for us and those around us. But, there lies the opportunity as well. We can create greater awareness around how we judge and what we do with that judgement. And, we want to do this because it's as good for us as it is for others.

Consider the following order of judgments:

  1. We judge others on how they look. It could be anything from their clothes, hair or the color of their skin. We are either comfortable or we are not.

  2. We judge others for how they generally communicate. Do they talk fast or slow? Do they talk more or less? Do they talk loud or soft? Are their non-verbals more aggressive or relaxed? Do they show emotion or are they more controlled? We are either comfortable or we are not.

  3. We judge them on their competence; based on what they are saying and doing. Are they trustworthy and dependable? We are either comfortable or we are not.

  4. We judge them on how they work with us. Do they respect us? Is the relationship equally beneficial? Can we work together? We are either comfortable or we are not.

#3 and #4 are the things we need to be paying more attention to. Are they trustworthy? Can we work together? But if we are not checking our judgments in #1 and #2 we are likely making selfish, superficial decisions based on our biases and insecurities and missing out on some real kick-ass relationships that may support our success.

The sooner we learn to check our judgments the better!

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